I Fall When You Leave
by perxephne
Summary: Five years have passed since Sidney Parker married another woman, leaving Charlotte heartbroken. Now a widower, Sidney seeks Charlotte out, but can they lay the ghosts of the past to rest? {One-shot, AU}.


**Author's Note: **{AU} one-shot written for **sanditoncreative** '12 Days of Sanditon' 2019 Tumblr challenge.

Prompt: 'All is calm, all is bright'.

* * *

As the clouds gathered above, Charlotte stood on the shore, dark eyes as distant as the horizon. It had been five years since she had been here, five years since Sidney had told her he could be his true self with her, only to marry another woman instead. She was no longer that naïve young thing with her wide eyes and white dresses, blindly believing in pretty words, but not so cynical yet as to be completely disillusioned. But she surmised time and experience would soon strip away any optimism still left to her.

"Miss. Heywood?"

Stomach swooping, Charlotte turned around, careful to keep her countenance blank. Sidney stood there, looming above her, his dark face as inscrutable as ever. Apart from a few lines around his eyes, Sidney was still as she remembered, aloof and immaculately attired.

"It is still Miss. Heywood, isn't it?" he pressed, brow furrowing.

Charlotte folded her gloved hands behind her back, before hurriedly bringing them before her, the gesture jarring. Even now, his sardonic manner was still the same, with the characteristic arched eyebrow and accompanying neck craning.

"Miss. Hey-_wood?_" asked the little girl standing by Sidney's side, her tone insultingly incredulous, making Charlotte glance downwards, heart catching in her throat.

It had been five years since Sidney had married, four years since Eliza Parker had died in childbirth and what felt like a lifetime to Charlotte of working up the courage to come back where she had been happiest. As she looked at the little girl before her, a hidden part of her heart began to ache; that this child could and should have been hers.

"I say, what a peculiar name," the little girl said, squinting up at Charlotte, ruining her reverie, "Hey-_wood_, never heard the like!"

Charlotte repressed a smile. "Yes, it is rather tree-ish, isn't it?" she said lightly, indirectly answering Sidney's question, making him suddenly straighten up.

"Rather," the little girl scoffed, tossing her golden ringlets back. Involuntarily, Charlotte's gaze roamed over the child' face, taking in the doll-like features, Eliza in miniature. But her speech and manner were all Sidney's, from the head-tilt to the abrupt tone that brooked no standing on ceremony.

Shifting awkwardly on the spot, Charlotte hastily looked away, her eye catching Sidney's, only to see a smile tugging at his mouth, a smile most never saw, the memory of it making her flush hotly. "The – the sun is… erm, very bright today," she said stupidly, changing the subject, her words making Sidney raise both eyebrows now.

"When is it not?" Sidney observed dryly.

"It rather reminds me of the hymn," Charlotte rattled on to no-one in particular, as if he hadn't spoken, "you know, the one that goes _all is calm, all is bright_."

"I believe 'Silent Night' is regarded more in the light of a carol than a hymn," Sidney hypothesized, making Charlotte glare at him.

"I suppose it depends on where you're standing," Charlotte said coldly, "if you're in a church, it's a hymn; if you're singing on a street corner" –

-"It's a carol," Sidney finished for her.

"Precisely," Charlotte said, eyes flashing dangerously beneath her bonnet, completely forgetting herself, "if I were to elaborate further, what is a prayer as opposed to a divine request? Is that dependent on the setting too?"

"Your theological discourses are diverting, Miss. Heywood," Sidney said, glancing up at the sky, "but I do believe it's going to snow."

"Your meteorological skills are astounding, Mr. Parker."

"I like you, Miss. Heywood," the little girl suddenly announced, startling both adults. "I think you should come to my tea party."

"I think I should love to," Charlotte said, recovering herself, "but I don't believe we've been formally introduced."

"This is my daughter, Miss. Sophia Parker," Sidney said hastily as Sophia held out a small lace mittened hand to Charlotte, "Sophia, this is my old friend Miss. Heywood."

"Just call me Charlotte," Charlotte said, taking Sophia's hand and giving it a firm but gentle shake..

"Are you spending Christmas in Sanditon, Charlotte?" Sophia asked, glancing between both adults.

"Yes, with friends," Charlotte said, dropping her hand to her side, avoiding looking at Sidney.

Sidney cleared his throat. "I… I hope you will include us amongst that number," he said awkwardly, equally avoiding looking at Charlotte.

"Of course, she will," Sophia said firmly, deciding the matter.

_So tell me when you hear my heart stop_  
_You're the only one who knows_  
_Tell me when you hear my silence_  
_There's a possibility I wouldn't know..._


End file.
